Rasha Kutty

Topic: Three Years of Weekly Empathy Circles - Reflections and Learnings. 

9:30 Speaker: Rasha Kutty (10 min)

Summary

Rasha Kutty, founder of Empathy University, discussed the impact of consistent participation in empathy circles, highlighting their therapeutic benefits and community-building potential. Since April 2021, her "Empathy Matters Conversations" have met weekly, attracting 5-12 participants. Over 150 sessions have been conducted, with topics ranging from Rumi quotes to peer support mechanisms for teachers. Rasha emphasized the circles' role in fostering strong friendships, peer learning, and effective handling of disagreements. She proposed a global hub and spoke model to expand the empathy circle movement, emphasizing collaboration and grassroots engagement.

Action Items

• [ ] Explore the possibility of implementing a hub-and-spoke model to expand the empathy circle movement globally.

• [ ] Collaborate with Rasha and the empathy circle community to work on the proposed global expansion model.

Outline

Empathy Circles Introduction and History

• Speaker 1 introduces Rasha Kutty, founder of Empathy University, who will discuss the benefits of empathy circles.

• Speaker 2 (Rasha) begins by sharing the history of empathy circles and her initial involvement with Edwin in mid-2020.

• Rasha mentions taking facilitator training and co-facilitating with Edwin and the team.

• The purpose of the empathy circles during COVID-19 was to connect people and provide support during a lonely time.

Establishment and Structure of Empathy Circles

• Rasha started weekly empathy circles called "Empathy Matters Conversations" in April 2021, initially for two hours and later reduced to 1.5 hours.

• The circles had 5 to 12 participants weekly, with topics ranging from Rumi series to general discussions.

• Over 150 sessions have been conducted, and the circles continue to meet regularly.

• Rasha highlights the involvement of Graham and Shaima, who met during the empathy facilitator training.

Surprising Regular Participation and Therapeutic Benefits

• Rasha is surprised by the consistent participation over three years, which was initially expected to be short-term.

• Empathy circles provide significant therapeutic benefits, especially in a chaotic world where therapy is expensive.

• The circles offer a safe space for people to be listened to and connect with others, which is valuable for many participants.

• Peer learning and personal growth are significant outcomes, with participants reporting significant growth over the years.

Building Strong Friendships and Collaborative Projects

• Strong friendships have developed among participants, with members meeting in each other's cities and forming a WhatsApp group.

• A participant, Arundham from Kolkata, collaborated with Rasha on an abstract for a TESOL conference, which was accepted.

• The acceptance at a global conference provides empathy circles with a significant platform.

• Effective handling of disagreements within the group is highlighted, showing the power of the empathy circle structure.

Experimenting with Structure and Flexible Timing

• Rasha mentions experimenting with centering practices at the beginning of sessions to ground participants.

• The structure is sometimes broken to have free-flowing conversations on topics that support participants' needs.

• Flexible timing is used to give more space to participants who need it during emotionally difficult times.

• These experiments aim to make the circles more effective and responsive to participants' needs.

Proposal for a Global Movement and Hub and Spoke Model

• Rasha proposes a global movement for empathy circles, suggesting a hub and spoke model with country, state, and local level representatives.

• This model would help spread the empathy circle practice to grassroots levels and make it a global movement.

• Rasha emphasizes the need for collective effort to make this model work.

• She expresses gratitude to Edwin and other early leaders of the empathy circle movement.

Transcript

https://otter.ai/u/MbAfc8mNb2olt0tlunWUL9dU5xQ?view=transcript

Our next speaker is Rasha. She is the founder of the empathy University offering training and workshops Russia will share how consistent participation in empathy circles can lead to deeper connections and enhanced well being. It's my honor to introduce you to Rasha. Thank you. Over to you, Rasha.

Thank you so much. Um, let me just share my presentation. Alright, so we all just heard about the history of the empathy circles, how it came about. And I think what I'm going to share is basically the, I would say, proof for how wonderfully you know the empathy circle process works

. So I got in touch with Edwin, I think, roughly mid 2020, and since then, around COVID time, we had done a lot of work together. I first took the facilitator training. Then I used to co facilitate with, you know, Edwin, Lou bill and the rest of the team. And those were wonderful days. And then what happened is, around COVID time, because I wanted more people from this part of the world. Like, I come from India, so I wanted more people involved. And so I had started empathy circles every Tuesday, like, I started one here. And, yeah, I just want to give a little bit of introduction as to how it's been going so far. It's called empathy matters conversations that that's what we named it. 

Empathy matters. And so we've been doing this since April 2021, and the reason why we started like I again, said during COVID, it was quite a lonely time. Wanted to connect with a lot of people who are struggling in different parts of

thank you for letting me know. Does this work? Yeah, there you go. Alright, alright. So, yeah. So the reason we started was because we really wanted to connect during the COVID time, and especially me, I used to live alone. I really wanted some support around that time, and then we had this going on every Tuesday at 8am Pacific Time, which is basically around 830 India time, pm. And then it would go on. Initially, it was for two hours. Then we made it 1.5 hours, just to respect the, you know, the time that people were taking to be a part of it. We had five to 12 participants weekly. 

Initially we had a lot of participants, but then, over time, so now we regularly get five to 12 participants weekly. We do a lot of topics. It could range from anything like, recently, we did a three part Rumi series, you could say, where we were just discussing quotes and, you know, ideas that Rumi shared, and then, yeah, and so, so far, we have done around 150 sessions, and it's still going on. So we are the facilitators. And the wonderful thing is, both Graham and Shaima, I met them during the empathy facilitator training like that Edwin had organized early on, and so some of us, we got together and we kept it going. 

So I just wanted to share a few thoughts on what has really stood out for me, personally, in terms of, you know, the whole practice and having facilitated like these circles for the last three years. 

The first thing is, I was really surprised by the regular participation that we saw, because I would never have thought that, you know, it would go on for three years. It was supposed to be something very short, maybe for a few months around COVID, and then everyone goes back to their own lives. But people kept coming week after week. And that was quite stunning. You know, a revelation for me. So the regular participation, in fact, we right now have participants, even after three years, who come regularly, every week. 

Right from the beginning, you know, of the of the whole circles, and I think empathy circles, at least from my experience, have seen it, have significant therapeutic benefits, right? We live in a quite, you know, chaotic world, and especially in India. Here, therapy is quite expensive, and there are a lot of people who struggle and wish they could have safe spaces where they can have just be listened to and connect with other people, and that's something that empathy circles definitely provide. So the significant therapy. Benefits peer learning. 

I'm I can vouch for the fact that everyone in the group who regularly come will say that they've they've grown immensely over the last three years because of all the learning, like, it's especially pure learning. We learn so much from other people's experiences and sharing, and I've personally grown so much wiser, I would say, because of, you know, the empathy circles that we've been doing and and very strong friendships. We've had situations where people you know just just travel they, you know, members from the group connect with each other when they are, you know, in each other's cities. 

They hold meetups, they send me selfies, and we even have a small Whatsapp group for the regulars who kind of share. And by now, it's more like we're family, right? And this is a space that everybody looks forward to, just like coming back to every week and collaborative project work here, I just wanted to mention something that one of our participants, like arundham, he's from Kolkata in India, and we got together once, when I visited Kolkata, I met him, and then we, in fact, we submitted an abstract to solve, which is a huge conference for English, you know, language speakers and teachers. 

So, in fact, our abstract was around, you know, empathy circles, and how we could use empathy circle, the empathy circle process as a peer support mechanism for teachers, right? And and it got accepted. So yeah, and it got accepted, and we've been invited to the conference in March in the US. We may or may not go go because, you know, there's a lot of other stuff involved, but, but it's still a huge win, I would say, because it gives something like empathy circles a global platform, and, yeah, at a huge conference, which is attended by 100 1000s and 1000s of people, and then also effective handling of disagreements. 

I put it there because we've had situations where people in the group like, you know, we have disagreements with each other, we have problems with each other, but we still come back right? And and I think the structure of the empathy circle is such, I would say it really provides a sort of safety, you know, and it just holds us in these difficult times. And so we've had a lot of difficult conversations happen through the process. And so that is testament to how powerful the circle is.

 And there are a few things we've tried to experiment with the structure. Like, one of the things that we've started doing is we regularly have a centering practice at the beginning, right? And, you know? And it goes for anywhere between three to five minutes, just to ground all the participants who come back, just to remind them about, you know, how much, how sacred a space this is, and stuff like that. 

And then we also tried, after a point, breaking the structure, because they were so what we have been trying to do is really listen to the participants what they want, even topics. Sometimes we introduce topics which probably support them, because we know everybody by now really well. We all share everything that's happening in our lives. And so if someone's going through a work struggle, let's say so we introduce a topic which really speaks to that, so that they also get some benefit out of the circle. 

So so we do the structure, but maybe 3/4 of the time. You know, once we've done 3/4 of the time in the breakout room, we sometimes break the structure and have a free flowing format of conversation on the topic. That's something we've been experimenting and it's going really well. Flexible timing. Again, I put it there because, you know, sometimes people, we sense that someone in the breakout room is a really, you know, having an emotionally difficult time, and then we try to give them more space and more time. 

And so it's basically just reading the room and trying to respect someone else who needs probably more time, so we're not too strict on the time there. So these are some things I've been experimenting with, and I thought it would be wonderful to share it with you. And I wanted to end with this, you know. And this is just an idea that I've had, something that I'm speaking to a lot of people within my small state, which is, you know, Kerala, which is in the south of India.

 So, you know, it's immensely powerful. What you know, Edwin, clearly, like, you know, showed us how it all began, and the process is immensely powerful. And so this is something I may have shared this with you, Edwin at some point, but I thought, like, you know, to to make this work, like he said, this needs to be a global movement, and for that, we need everybody, like, collaboratively working for it. And so this is, you know, just, just building a hub and spoke model, or a tiered representative model, I think will be wonderful, because I think this is the best way to kind of take it. I've seen so many other organizations do this, and I think, why not? Why not the empathy circle? It's so powerful. So something like now

I have a timer here. I'm guessing everybody saw it. So, yeah, this is the last slide. So the hub and spoke. Model. And so where we have the empathy center now at the top, and then maybe having country level spokes and, you know, under them, maybe state level representatives, who then kind of, you know, have build hubs which are university specific or school specific, local level specific and and so I think that is one way to kind of just trickle this down to the very grassroots.

 And it could be a global movement. And, you know, so I just, I'm mentioning this so that, you know, collectively, maybe, if everyone's interested, we can together, maybe work on something like this. So I just wanted to put this there, and yeah, and so as my time comes to an end, I just want to say gratitude, Edwin, thank you so much. We love you so much for having, you know, build this leader. Why I'm thinking so fondly of her. I wish she was here. You know, very grateful to her and to Lou bill all the others here. So just wanted to mention that as well. 

Thank you. 

Applause.